My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
