i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
