Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I wear drunk well.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
