We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
we're so committed to being not committed
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
