My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
