You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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