why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize