Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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