She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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