The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize