Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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