You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
