oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
