So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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