I have demons in me.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
