I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
