TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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