we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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