wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
