You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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