it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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