To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I FOUND THE LEGS
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
