The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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