What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
A+ Viking dick
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
