my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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