how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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