Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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