thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
