These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
