Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
