***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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