i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
