they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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