I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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