Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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