Christians are straight up FREAKS
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
