can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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