Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
The air taste purple.
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