Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
