I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
