so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
