O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I intend to get homeless drunk
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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