Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Be still, my beating vagina.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
