Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
