I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
