Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
