just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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