Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
