i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Drunk is not a location!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
