You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
