it was like his penis was on wheels.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
