theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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