That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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