drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
