So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
