Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
