Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
