he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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