between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
