Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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