when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Jerry, you need to find god
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
