Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize