i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
