My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
